The new man

Men! We think we can’t live without them, but living with them often demands a great deal of effort, loads of understanding and a good dose of getting used to. Throughout the ages, there has been so much written about the difference between the sexes, but somewhere along the lines I am convinced that men and women might not be quite as different as we think. Often, rather than it being the difference between the sexes that ends up ruining a relationship, it’s a lack of effort and understanding. Maybe when things don’t work out between two people, it’s more a case of selfishness and being too self-absorbed.

The ‘new man’ has created a really good life for himself. He is sensitive without being a wimp and strong without being too domineering. It’s not a provider that women are looking for today, but rather a man who is in a position to deliver both depth and presence. Couples already have a tough time maintaining a relationship and things will certainly not get any easier in the future.

Today many people’s lives are so busy that they hardly have time to think about things. There is only one direction they care about and that is onward, no matter what. On the other hand, this group now has more disposable income than ever before. Having too little time on your hands cuts down the possibility of building a solid relationship and that’s why it’s getting more popular to stay single. Lots of people live alone, it means fewer conflicts and it provides an opportunity to have more personal time. When working hard the last thing we want to deal with, after a long day at work, is an angry partner complaining that we do not have enough time for them. Men have always needed time with their ‘mates’, and by living alone they can do as they please and live a ‘real lads’ life. Having more money gives them the opportunity to do this.

Leisure guy
How do we recognise this new man? Yesterday’s man seldom had complexes and was quite happy with himself and the way he looked. Today’s man has his own highly personal relationships with his looks. He wants to spend time and money on being pampered and looking good. One of my employees told me that he had read that the majority of clients at some of the Danish beauty clinics are men. They get everything from a face peel, massage, waxing and aromatherapy. In London, spas and well-being centres are a big hit – where you can let yourself be pampered by somebody else. Any self–respecting hotel will, these days, offer a spa and have a beauty treatment centre. The customers are just as likely to be men as women. Furthermore, a new ‘big business’ has sprung up – developing a men’s range of specialist skincare products. Biotherm, Clinique, Prada and Jean-Paul Gaultier have all launched an anti-wrinkle cream for men and many have realised that it is a key market.

When it comes to leisure time, men often prefer to go on holiday with their mates. They go on heli-skiing trips to Canada, golfing trips to Scotland, cookery and wine tasting courses in France or perhaps a spa weekend in Switzerland. Leisure time has become more active than ever. It is here that men can give free rein to those sides of their personality that they don’t express in their jobs. Much as with a career, leisure time offers potential for self-realisation. ‘Finding yourself’ has today become a major trend both among men and women and leisure trips have proven themselves as a path towards this.

Planning a trip will be a core component of life and even a married life. The purpose behind travel is to kick-start personal development and to find yourself. When today’s fast pace and pressure to perform dull the senses, and the new man finds himself feeling superficial and ungrounded, he will pull himself together and go out into the world to experience: sometimes by himself; other times with his family.

The domesticated man
The man of the future decorates his home in his very own personal style, just as the woman of the future does. He has the same need to express his personality as she does. He is not going to give this up because he moves in with his girlfriend. For quite a few years, it has been the women that have dictated the home environment. However, that’s no longer the case, he also wants to have an influence. It will no longer do to shove the ugliest of his belongings into a packing case while he is at work, hoping that he won’t notice – he will. He is so much more aware of the home environment and its value. It means a lot to him to show that he also has an important role in the domestic scenario.

The softer values have increasingly been incorporated into the new man’s domain. It is suddenly fun for him to serve a delicious meal for friends and family – and he can – he has just been on a Thai cookery course. The allocation of duties around the home will no longer be a question of which sex you are. It is increasingly a question of who is best at what and who would like to do it. Equal opportunities in the home will be more about fair sharing. It is no longer just women who have a problem with week-old crumbs and empty milk bottles in the fridge.

The trendy lad
His dress sense varies entirely according to the context. His way of dressing should be seen as an expression of his multifaceted nature, and ‘he’s got lots of strings to his bow’. He is not afraid of expressing his own style and he is in tune with his feminine side. Right now the men’s fashion collections for next autumn are being shown all over the world: ‘Lads clothes’ with a lot of attitude. Everything from embroidery, mix and match patterns and biker style to jean boots. The new key word is total fusion; he mixes the familiar with the exotic. The man of the future knows what he wants – and he gets it.

Anne Lise Kjaer
February 3, 2002